Title: Blackout: Book One
Series: Leather and Lace Duet #1
Author: Janine Infante Bosco
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: April 1, 2019
After years of struggling with alcoholism and drug abuse, I got clean and put my best foot forward. I became the man worthy of Lacey Parrishâs love and made the girl with the sad brown eyes my wife. But Iâm not the only one in our marriage with demons. Diagnosed a manic depressive, Lacey struggles daily with her mind, never willing to succumb to the stigma of mental illness.
The odds have always been stacked against us, but the stakes have never been this high. Pregnant with our child, Lacey is forced to choose between her mind and the baby we wished for.
I can take pain, but I canât take hers.
Helpless and at the mercy of all the things that plague us, I turn to my past.
Itâs always our favorite sins that do us in.
Suffering through hell, hoping love is enough for us to survive one more blackout.
*This is part one of the Leather & Lace duet and over 70,000 words.*
Blackout, Book One Excerpt: âThatâs Not How This Worksâ
Â©Copyright 2019 Janine Infante Bosco
Learning our baby might be born with a heart defect if Lacey remains on her medication was the final card to fall. Now, all thatâs left is a mountain of debris and I donât know how to drudge through any of it.
âJust go,â Lacey says, keeping her back to me as she fills a water glass. Itâs the third time sheâs poured herself a refill and I wonder if sheâs wishing it was something harder. God knows Iâm fixing for something.
Iâd fucking drink turpentine right now.
âIâm not going anywhere, Lace, thatâs not how this works,â I tell her, bracing my hands on the kitchen island. We both know what happens if I leave, the problem is sheâs too wrapped up in her grief to realize sheâs sending me straight to hell because if I do as she says, Iâll either go to a bar or drive out to Queens to score some drugs.
âStop pretending like either of us know how anything works,â she hisses, dropping her glass into the sink. Thereâs truth to her words. A truth weâve both been too fucking naÃ¯ve to accept.
She turns to me, crossing her arms over her chest as she gives me her dark eyes.
âEvery time we take a step forward, we take three back. Weâre a fucking joke, Blackie. Two lost souls who will never get it right and now, weâre bringing a baby into the world. If thatâs not fucking selfish, I donât know what is.â
âYou didnât think it was selfish the first night I came in you,â I fire back, slamming my fist against the counter. My anger gets the best of me and I lose my patience. Everything, all the shit with the club, Jackâs failing mind, my addictions, and her fucking illness, it all comes crashing to the surface.
âI told you that night, I was worried about you getting pregnant and not because I thought we didnât deserve to be parents or because I didnât want to have a baby. I was concerned for you, for your fucking mental health but you told me there were people like you all over the world having kids.â
âPeople like me,â she repeats.
Ignoring the hurt in her eyes, I continue my rant.
âYou fucking promised me youâd get in touch with your shrink. You swore youâd tell her we were trying for a babyââ
âI didnât know Iâd get pregnant so quickly,â she spats.
âYou pissed on your fucking word,â I shout over her.
As soon as the words leave my lips, I regret them, but thereâs no taking them back.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe I shouldâve fucking left.
At least then I wouldnât have to watch the painful expression fill her pretty face.
I can take pain, but I canât take hers.
Exhaling, I swipe a hand over my face and bow my head.
âShit, Iâm sorry, Lace.â
âDonât be sorry for expressing how you truly feel,â she spats, furiously wiping at the tear that escapes the corner of her eye.
âI donât know what the fuck I feel,â I admit, gripping the edge of the counter again. Frustration claws at me as I keep my eyes pinned to her. âAll I know is the last thing I want to see is you lose yourself to your maker. I donât understand why you wonât just talk to the doctor before you make a decision.â
âAnd I donât know whatâs so hard to comprehend. You know, itâs my body, therefore itâs ultimately my decision, but itâs our baby, Blackie. Itâs not a dream anymore. Itâs not a what ifâIâm pregnant and I canât understand how you would risk our child being born with a heart defect.â
Her words slap me in the face, and I clench my jaw, trying to keep my emotions in check. There shouldnât be a choice. We shouldnât have to choose between Laceyâs mental stability and bringing a healthy baby into the world, but once again lifeâs got us by the balls. No one gets a say in the cards theyâre dealt. You get what you get. You either play your fucking hand or you fold. Some people, go all in. They risk everything they got and pray they donât lose. Others, theyâre more cautious and maybe thatâs because theyâve lost in the past. Maybe, just maybe they want to hang onto what they got and donât want to press their luck.
I already visit one wife in a cemetery.
I donât want to visit Lacey in the fucking psych ward.
âLet me ask you something,â I say hoarsely, pausing to swallow the lump suffocating me. âHave you thought about what happens after the baby is born? More specifically, have you taken a fucking second to think about what happens to you?â
She doesnât answer me as she diverts her eyes away and I take the opportunity to paint her a picture.
âThe baby is born, and sheâs perfect. Sheâs got a full head of dark hair and the prettiest brown eyes either of us has ever seen. Sheâs everything we dreamed of and yet, Iâm the only one living the dream. You donât look at her the way I do. You donât hold her and feel the same things I do. To you, she just exists, and you donât understand why. You forget the sacrifices you made bringing her into the world. You forget the dreams you had for her. You forget it all.â
âStop,â she orders, balling her fists at her side.
âNo,â I growl. âI wonât stop. You wonât get to experience the joys of motherhood, Lacey. You wonât hold her in the middle of the night when she wakes. You wonât get to watch her grow or teach her how to walk. You wonât even give a fuck because you and your maker will be one. She wins and your child, the precious baby you fought to bring into this world, she fucking loses.â
Suddenly, Lacey spins around and takes the glass from the sink. Before I realize what sheâs doing, she turns back to me and throws it across the room. It misses me by an inch and crashes against the floor.
âGet the fuck out of here,â she cries.
When I donât move, she advances towards me and stands across the other end of the island.
âI want you to leave!â
âIâll go,â I tell her. âBut I wonât fucking apologize for a word of what I just said. Children are born with birth defects every day, Lace. Sometimes the doctors catch them early on and sometimes they donât find out until the baby is already in the motherâs arms. That donât make them broken or any less loveable.â
Releasing May 6, 2019
Janine Infante Bosco lives in New York City, she has always loved reading and writing. When she was thirteen, she began to write her own stories and her passion for writing took off as the years went on. At eighteen, she even wrote a full screenplay with dreams of one day becoming a member of the Screen Actors Guild.
Janine writes emotionally charged novels with an emphasis on family bonds, strong willed female characters, and alpha male men who will do anything for the women they love. She loves to interact with fans and fellow avid romance readers like herself.
She is proud of her success as an author and the friendships she's made in the book community but her greatest accomplishment to date would be her two sons Joseph and Paul.
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