Author: Jamie Schlosser
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Release Date: December 13, 2018
It doesnât take much to become the laughing stock of reality television. Just ask Theodore âTheo-Dogâ Legend. Once youâve pissed on a fire hydrant in front of the paparazzi, no one ever lets you forget it.
Hadley Holiday is on her way to being Americaâs sweetheart, thanks to her dog training routine on a national talent show. Although she didnât win first prize, she snagged Theoâs attention and heâll do just about anything to make her hisâeven if it means being the butt of everyoneâs joke once again.
Hadley wants a career in showbiz. Theo needs to get rid of that doggone nicknameâpun intended. Pairing the two together on a new show sounds like a disaster waiting to happen... or it could be the best thing thatâs ever happened to them.
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âOkay. Change of plansâpie first, cleaning later. I get weepy when Iâm hanky.â
âHanky?â Theo followed me to the kitchen.
âItâs a portmanteau.â Walking over to the table, I removed the foil from the dish. Steam billowed up, carrying the heavenly scent of apples and cinnamon with it.
âIâm sorry, a what?â Sounding utterly confused, Theo went over to a small white coffee maker next to the sink and punched a button. It sputtered for a few seconds before the aroma filled the room.
He grabbed two mismatching mugs from the cabinet. Setting them down, he leaned back against the counter while he waited for me to explain.
âBlending two words to make one,â I said. âHungry and cranky equals hanky.â
âIsnât the term âhangry?ââ
âNo, I donât think that fits. I donât get mad,â I clarified. âJust irritable.â
âItâs kinda like my nickname, huh? Putting Theodore and dog together.â
âYeah, kind of like that.â I grimaced because he obviously wasnât a fan of the combination. âIâm sure whoever came up with that thought they were being very clever.â
âThey probably got promoted.â
âWell, Iâm feeling mighty humpy myself.â When he said the word âhumpyâ, I couldâve sworn I saw his pelvis do a slight thrust.
I almost fell over. âExcuse me?â
He sent me a grin that did funny things to my stomach. âPortmanteau. Hungry and grumpy. Humpy.â
That was inappropriate but also correct. I couldnât knock him for coming up with his own word, even if it did draw my attention to his groin.
I tried to force myself to look away from his lower half, but it was really difficult.
Because now that I wasnât scrutinizing his living quarters, my thoughts went elsewhere: straight to the gutter.
The gray fabric of his pants stretched over his crotch, and he probably wasnât wearing underwear because I could see a very distinct outline of his dick.
I didnât mean to stare at it, but it was just right there. Out in the open. And alarmingly large. It was like spotting a rare animal in the wild. The thing practically needed its own Australian accented voiceover.
Inexperienced as I was when it came to actual sex, I wasnât completely innocent. I knew what a semi-erect penis looked like. The length of it rested against his thigh and the definition of the thick head was impressive.
I swallowed hard.
âHey.â Theoâs voice startled me, and my eyes snapped up to his.
My cheeks were on fire. Iâd been caught, and I wanted nothing more than to sink under the table and hide.
âHi,â I squeaked, lowering myself into the chair.
âLetâs just blame the rough start to the day on low blood sugar. Deal?â
Well, that wasnât what Iâd expected him to say, but it was a lot better than him calling me out for eye-balling his junk.
âDeal,â I responded. Then for my own benefit, I added the reminder, âIâm looking forward to being coworkers and friends.â
His left eyebrow arched on the word âfriends.â
Dang it. Maybe he did see me checking him out after all.
For the sake of my sanity, I really hoped he was planning to wear jeans for the show. And maybe some underwear with crotch-confining support. Like a girdle, but for penises.
Jamie Schlosser grew up on a farm in Illinois surrounded by cornfields. Although she no longer lives in the country, her dream is to return to rural living someday. As a stay-at-home mom, she spends most of her days running back and forth between her two wonderful kids and her laptop. She loves her family, iced coffee, and happily-ever-afters.
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